NASCAR Santa

12/23/2011 By Leave a Comment

Tis’ the season to be jolly, therefore regardless of whether you’ve been naughty (I’m looking at you, Kurt and Kyle) or nice, allow me to put on my formfitting Santa suit, my designer black boots and hop into my eco-friendly V8 reindeer powered sleigh and start dishing out presents to your favorite NASCAR drivers like an overenthusiastic mom on Christmas morning.

Marcos Ambrose
That the affable Tasmanian becomes as adapt at racing on ovals as he does on road courses. Along with that, more frequent trips to the winner’s circle, because NASCAR is better with off with people like Ambrose enjoying success.

AJ Allmendinger
An offseason where The ‘Dinger doesn’t have to worry about job security and a lack of sponsorship.

(Editor’s Note: On Tuesday, Christmas came early for Allmendinger, as Penske Racing named him the driver of the No. 22 Shell/Pennzoil Dodge Charger.)

Trevor Bayne
Sustained good health and more lasting memories like the one he gave us when he shocked the world and won the Daytona 500.

Greg Biffle
A flashback to the time not too long ago when Greg Biffle routinely won at least once a year and seemingly made the Chase with little effort.

Dave Blaney
That he and his upstart Tommy Baldwin Racing team continue to do the seemingly impossible and build a successful competitive single-car team from the ground up.

Clint Bowyer
He finds the same success with his newest team, Michael Waltrip Racing, as he did with his previous one, Richard Childress Racing.

Jeff Burton
There is no driver who is who more thoughtful, well-spoken and aware of the issues facing the sport, both in the short- and long-term than Jeff Burton. Therefore, whenever he decides to hang-up his helmet, Burton will receive the gift of being named the President of NASCAR. A position in which, the driver who has openly talked of running for Senate, will absolutely flourish in.

Kurt Busch
After having being booted from two of the top teams in the garage, some actual perspective that it’s time to modify his unruly behavior and start being kinder to those around him.

Kyle Busch
For the first time in his career, he puts together a respectable performance in the Chase that sees him in the thick of the championship battle all the way until Homestead. Also we’re going to stuff his stocking with a dose of maturity.

Austin Dillon
There is little question the grandson of Richard Childress has the tools to one day be successful in Cup. But we must keep in mind many a young career has been derailed by being rushed to the top before they’re ready. And as such, for a driver who is on the fast-track to Sprint Cup, there is no more fitting present than the gift of patience.

Dale Earnhardt Jr.
A time machine so he can find whatever it was that once led him to winning 15 races and on three occasions finish fifth or better in points within a six-year span.

Carl Edwards
With primary sponsorship in 2012 from Fastenal, UPS, Best Buy, Kellogg’s, Cheez-It and who knows who else, the thing Carl Edwards needs the most for Christmas is a supersized driver’s suit. It also wouldn’t hurt matters if Edwards learned the lesson of sharing with those less fortunate during the holiday season. In this case, instead of hoarding the majority of sponsorship dollars at Roush Fenway, he would pass some those along to teammates Matt Kenseth and David Ragan; both of whom who are greatly lacking in the sponsorship department.

David Gilliland
A little recognition for turning in a rather solid year which saw him post a third-place finish in the Daytona 500 and qualify for all 36 races all the while driving for an underfunded team.

Jeff Gordon
One final championship so one of the NASCAR’s greatest wheelman can once again bask in the glory befitting his lofty accomplishments.

Denny Hamlin
Instant chemistry with new crew chief Darian Grubb which cumulates with Denny Hamlin returning to the form he flashed in 2010.

Kevin Harvick
After cycling through two crew chiefs in little over two-plus years, a crew chief who can lead Kevin Harvick to not only sustained success, but can handle the temperamental driver for a prolonged period of time seems about right.

Sam Hornish Jr.
A incredibly successful season in Nationwide, where the former Indy 500 winner can rehabilitate his stagnant career and silence his doubters in one fell swoop.

Jimmie Johnson
From the fans who despise him greatly, the owner of five Sprint Cup titles and 55 career wins finally gets the respect and admiration for all he’s accomplished and the class in which he’s done so.

Kasey Kahne
After years of having to deal with dysfunction, uncertainty, and false promises, the perfect gift for Kasey Kahne is a long and peaceful career at Hendrick.

Matt Kenseth
Despite taking the checkered flag on three different occasions and being a player in the Chase, Matt Kenseth is missing one thing heading into next year: A fulltime sponsor for 2012.

Brad Keselowski
Because we selfishly don’t ever want the personable and opinionated Brad Keselowski to stop speaking his mind, let’s bestow upon him an envelope full of money so that he doesn’t have to worry about the paying the fine that will surely be levied against him time and time again by NASCAR.

Bobby Labonte
Eight full years since his last win, one last trip to Victory Lane is an appropriate gesture for someone who very much looks to be on the backside of his career.

Joey Logano
Instead of just the occasional flashes he’s shown, Joey Logano receives a full season of success that will prove Joe Gibbs was more than justified in naming him as Tony Stewart’s heir apparent.

Mark Martin
After numerous close calls, near-misses and heartbreaking disappointment, one of the most respected guys in the garage finally wins the NASCAR championship that has always eluded him. After winning his first title, the venerable driver will immediately announce his permanent retirement.

Jamie McMurray
To quiet the talk that 2010 was nothing more than a fluke, a repeat of his magical year in which he won three races including the Daytona 500 and the Brickyard 400.

Paul Menard
Another Sprint Cup victory or two to further prove to his many critics he’s more than just the son of a billionaire and that what he’s accomplished, he’s done on merit and nothing else.

Juan Pablo Montoya
A full season from Daytona to Homestead where the former Formula One and IndyCar pilot puts everything together and truly showcases his world-class talent behind the wheel.

Ryan Newman
Never in his career has Ryan Newman, one of NASCAR’s most prolific qualifiers, won more races than he has scored poles. So this coming season, the Hoosier native will do just that.

Danica Patrick
In her first full season of NASCAR, there is nothing Danica Patrick needs more than a quiet year where her consistent positive results on the track says everything about the decision she made to abandon open-wheel racing.

David Ragan
A prominent team with a fulltime sponsor willing to pay him to race their Cup cars.

David Reutimann
A prominent team with a fulltime sponsor willing to pay him to race their Cup cars.

Regan Smith
An influx of cash so his Furniture Row team can better compete for a spot at the big boys table; something which they’ve admirably done for the last few seasons on a minuscule budget.

Ricky Stenhouse Jr.
A replay of 2011 would be nice, where the former USAC standout won multiple Nationwide Series races and became the first non-Sprint Cup driver since Martin Truex Jr. in 2005 to walk away with the series crown.

Tony Stewart
Despite the enormity of what he’s achieved in motorsports, there are two notable things still missing from Tony Stewart’s vast résumé. He’s yet to win either of the 500-mile races at Daytona and Indianapolis. Because giving him two sizable gifts would come across as greedy, we’ll let the defending Sprint Cup champ decide which race win he wants as a present this year.

Martin Truex Jr.
Because no one should have to endure having to be in a commercial with Michael Waltrip, a free pass from such an embarrassing act will certainly put a smile on Martin Truex Jr.’s face this Christmas.

Brian Vickers
A big do-over on what has turned out to be a very regrettable decision to leave to Hendrick Motorsports. Five years later, the 28-year-old is now out of a ride after the closing of Red Bull Racing and is staring squarely in the face of a future where he may be forced to drop down to NASCAR’s junior series to revive his floundering career.

 

If you would like to contact the author of this post, simply click here, and you can also follow The Racing Geek on Twitter.

Photo courtesy of Ornament Plus.com

Filed Under: Christmas Gifts, NASCAR, Sub-Feature

Passing Out the Presents on Christmas Day

12/25/2009 By 2 Comments

While I have always found the idea of Santa Claus a bit odd – an old man randomly breaks into houses via chimneys, leaves presents behind and takes cookies that have been left out for him by strange people. Call me a scrooge, but the whole thing is just a little weird to me.

This however won’t prevent me playing Santa Claus once again, and coming up with my own list of what presents to dole out to those in the racing world.

  • We’ll start with the guy who is more than used to being first, four-time Sprint Cup champion Jimmie Johnson. Johnson’s gift this year is respect and admiration from the entire NASCAR community – detractors included. No driver has ever done what Johnson has done these last four years. It’s time everyone starts realizing just how special a driver he actually is and just how incredible a things he’s in the midst of doing. When it’s all said and done, Johnson may go down as the greatest NASCAR driver of all-time. It’s time fans start recognizing that. Plus, he’s one of the classiest people in all of sports. What’s there not to like?

  • Jeff Gordon gets a gift from Christmas past, a return to the form that won him three championships in the late 90’s. How exciting would a battle between Jimmie Johnson at his apex and Gordon in a return to his prime, be? Think this would get NASCAR fans excited and possibly increase the TV ratings? Best friends turned bitter enemies. The headlines would write themselves.

  • Kasey Kahne gets a team where stability is the norm and not the exception.

  • Brian France receives a necktie. No more sports jackets with a dress shirt that is unbuttoned at the top, thus giving the appearance that you’re off to dinner at the country club. I have seen David Stern (NBA) and Roger Goodell (NFL) up-close and personal, walking around on gameday or when they are scheduled to face the media, dressed as if they just stepped out of a GQ photo shoot. You’re one of the most powerful men in motorsports, it’s time to start looking like it.

  • For the IndyCar Series, the list is long on what you will be receiving. We’ll start with strong leadership. You need a voice and a strong leader to guide your series back to the heights that it used to be at. Jeff Belskus might be that guy. But if he is, he needs to start becoming the face of your series much like his predecessor Tony George was.

    You also receive some hearing aids so you can start listening to you fans and what they want. Your fans have been clamoring for you to return to Road America, New Hampshire, and Phoenix. I understand why you’re not returning to Phoenix. They’re refusing to give you a respectable date. There is no excuse however, for your series not to be racing at Elkhart Lake or Loudon. These two tracks want your series. They want to pay you to take your product to their facilities and you keep saying “No thanks.” Please explain this?

    This leads us to our third and final gift that the IndyCar Series is receiving from The Racing Geek – a clue. Your series is slowly dying and instead of fixing the wounds with painful surgery, you instead attempt to fix your injuries with Band-Aids. You have only one engine and chassis manufacture. The cars you are running now have become obsolete. And your business model is such that very, very few teams turn an actual profit. Do whatever it takes to fix this. Because if you don’t, next Christmas you’ll be receiving a case of arsenic so you can put your little series out of it’s misery.

  • My gift to Dale Earnhardt Jr. would be to have as much good luck in 2010 as he had bad in 2009.

  • There’s no reason for Mark Martin to have his legacy be that of the greatest NASCAR driver to have never won a title. He is the epitome of class and no is more gracious in defeat than him. For Christmas Martin receives a NASCAR championship. He more than deserves to have his day in the sun, allowing him to walk away from the sport as a true champion, which he already is, regardless if his mantel is missing some hardware.

  • Running a topnotch sports car series is North America is no easy thing. Especially when there are two competing series fracturing the limited fan base. To solve this dilemma The Racing Geek is handing out dual gifts to both the American Le Mans Series and the Grand-Am Series. Both are receiving a dose of commonsense and the gift of acceptance and appreciation for the other. In turn the series will agree to set aside their differences and come to the understanding that together they’re more effective then they are apart. Thus the two sports car entities will merge into one series, giving sports car racing in North America the chance to once again be relevant.

  • Danica Patrick receives a thank you not for bringing some much needed diversity to a sport that has lacking been it for far too long.

  • It should have never been taken away in the first place and now a once great tradition returns as Darlington Speedway gets its annual Labor Day Sprint Cup date back.

  • Our final gift this Christmas season is for Richard Childress Racing to find an actual “happy” driver, and a driver who actually wants to be associated with, and respects the legacy of RCR.

If you would like to contact the author of this post, please feel free to email him at jordan@theracinggeek.com. Follow The Racing Geek on Twitter.

Photo courtesy of Las Vegas Motor Speedway, http://www.lvms.com/.

Filed Under: ALMS, Childress, Christmas Gifts, Dale Earnhardt Jr., Danica Patrick, Darlington, France, Gordon, Grand-Am, IndyCar, IRL, Johnson, Kahne, Martin, NASCAR

NASCAR Christmas Gifts

12/24/2008 By Leave a Comment

With Christmas here, it’s time to make a list and see who’s been naughty, Kyle Busch I’m looking at you, and nice. So below is my list of Christmas gifts that I’m giving out just in time for 2009.

  • That Jeff Gordon wins multiple races so that he can put his disappointing 2008 season behind him.
  • Petty Enterprises and the Wood Brothers somehow, someway find sponsors to remain viable entities in NASCAR. And I’m not just talking about showing up for every race. I’m talking about enough sponsorship where these two legendary teams can once again regain there rightful place among the NASCAR elite.
  • That NASCAR finally wakes up and realizes that with the economy being the way that it is, they need to do more than just limit the amount of testing that teams can do. The smaller teams, and even the bigger teams to an extent, need more monetary support from the sanctioning body.
  • That the rumors of Danica Patrick coming over in 2010 to race fulltime in the Sprint Cup Series are just that, rumors. If you thought Dario Franchitti and Sam Hornish Jr. bombed in the heavy stocks cars, what until you see Miss Patrick try her hand at NASCAR.
  • For Martin Truex Jr. to escape the sinking ship that is DEI and sign with a legitimate team. He has far too much talent to wasting it with the embarrassment that has become DEI.
  • For Ray Evernham to find his smile and one day come back fulltime either as an owner, crew chief or whatever. This sport needs Ray and his unmatched talents. He is after all the man who turned Jeff Gordon and Kasey Kahne into superstars.
  • Clint Bowyer to get the respect that he deserves. Finishing in the top-five in points back-to-back years is a big deal, especially when you have just completed your third season.
  • For Tony Stewart to have success as an owner-driver. Because if he’s not, Stewart might not be around in NASCAR much longer.
  • For some team to rise up and challenge Roush, Hendrick, Gibbs, and Childress on a regular basis. This sport was built on parity and right now it just seems like we don’t have it anymore.
  • For Richard Childress to win a championship. The guy deserves it after everything he has been through. It would have been very easy for him to pack it in and no one would have blamed him. Instead, he persevered, rebuilt his team and this year was the only owner to have three of his cars finish inside the top-five in points.
  • For AJ Allmendinger to land with a quality team who will give him a legitimate chance. He has the talent, all he needs is the equipment and an owner who can guide him and mentor him.
  • That short track aces like Ryan Lawler, Augie Grill, and Dan Fredrickson get a shot at the big time.
  • For Mark Martin, Bill Elliott, and Terry Labonte to actually stay retired. Come on guys, we respect all that you have done for the sport, but your time has come and gone. It’s time to enjoy the fruits of your labor.
  • More short track races. We hear all the time that this sport doesn’t have the side-by-racing of yesteryear, and you want to know why? Less short tracks. Add some more short tracks to the schedule and watch the competition increase. For some reason, NASCAR got it into its head 15 years ago that mile-and-a-half tracks were the way to go. Well, look at what’s happened and look where the best races each year take place. Somebody clone Bristol and Richmond pronto!
  • For Goodyear to actually build a tire that is compatible with the COT.
  • A new crew chief for Dale Earnhardt Jr.
  • More television commercials featuring Michael Waltrip, because God knows we don’t get to see enough of him otherwise.
  • For Speed Channel to get a complete overhaul and show more racing. I don’t care whether it’s live or taped; I just can’t sit through any more episodes of fluff shows like Pinks and Chop, Cut, and Rebuild.
  • And most importantly, for an exciting, competitive and safe 2009 season.
Filed Under: Christmas Gifts, NASCAR